Pain has been a large part of my experience throughout my life. At times more emotional, others, more existential. And then of course the relatively brief periods of physical pain due to childbirth, surgeries and bone breaks. In the past decade or so, however, pain for me has been more of the physical type and much more protracted. I am hugely lucky to say that none of my pain has been excruciating, and I am deeply respectful of the fact that I cannot know or understand the suffering of others.
The nagging, ever-present pain of rheumatoid arthritis was what sparked my desire to reacquaint myself with cannabis. And in the past three months of dosing myself with a 10:1 THC:CBD, I’ve been delighted to discover that, while I didn’t find immediate relief and absolute cessation of pain, I found an expansiveness within myself that enabled me to “hold” the pain in a way that actually has been quite liberating.
Indeed, after finding my own therapeutic dose twice daily with tincture, I did notice a lessening of the pain. But I didn’t want to go further to higher doses to see if I could eliminate it altogether. I’ve come to believe that the pain is an indicator of perhaps more psycho-spiritual work I need to pursue. Clearly, I have a ways to go in unraveling some very old patterns and ways that I’ve pushed away dealing with the emotional injuries I’ve wanted to toss aside.
But back to that feeling of newly being able to abide that nagging, sometimes dispiriting experience of pain; I definitely feel strengthened by the tincture. Placebo effect? Maybe. But I’ve tried four different pharmacologicals, acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, cryotherapy, vitamin infusions, meditation, yoga, high intensity exercise, super “clean” eating and more. While each of these has been a tremendous addition to my health and wellness, the tincture has been that extra special pop of magic that somehow has me more at peace and willing to endure whatever needs further “scrubbing” in my psyche, to let my body know it’s okay to stop attacking itself. And maybe the answer is that the tincture arrived just in time to be the icing on the cake. Whatever. I’m excited to experiment further with cannabis, perhaps even daring myself to get a bit deeper into the THC side of things.